Influence is all about getting your way… right?

You know, the art of dominating the conversation, vanquishing the opponent, and coming out on top? 

Well, not exactly. Especially if we want productive, long-term relationships. 

Real, lasting influence isn’t about steamrolling with our agenda or forcing agreement. It’s about alignment, discovering how our proposition resonates with what the other person cares about. 

When we shift from “how do we win?” to “how can we align?” something remarkable happens:

• Value surfaces

• Trust grows

• Creativity flourishes 

Alignment doesn’t mean that we have to compromise or abandon our goals. It’s about understanding the other person’s world and discovering how our proposition connects to what they care about. 

Here’s the irony: When we stop focusing on “winning,” we get better outcomes.

And if we insist on thinking about winning… how about shifting the focus to “Winning with” rather than “Winning over”?