Saying no is hard.

Saying no is hard.

Our wiring makes it harder. The human brain interprets “no” as rejection and perceives it in much the same way that we experience physical pain. We don’t want to feel it, and we don’t want to create that feeling either. 

Because of this, many of us avoid saying “no” to preserve relationships, to sidestep conflict, or simply to be seen as agreeable. So instead, we say “yes”.

Yes to the extra task.

Yes to the project we don’t have capacity for.

Yes to someone else’s urgency over our own priorities.

Forgetting that the “no” is the line we draw to protect what matters most. 

In our recent session on Handling No with Katee Gray's Catalyst Community, this quote from Brené Brown resonated: "Choose discomfort over resentment."

It recognises that no is a moment of discomfort.

It can feel loaded with fear, guilt, rejection, or even shame. But Brown’s insight is that the pain of that moment is far better than the bitter taste of resentment that can follow.

In the three seconds it takes to say yes, we may be setting ourselves up for days, months, even years of carrying a load that we never meant to shoulder. 

Her challenge is simple: choose a brief moment of tension over a long season of regret. 

What strategies do you or your team use to navigate that moment of tension? How do you make saying no easier?