A charitable assumption?

You almost spilled your coffee when you heard. 

What!? 

You push back from the table, shaking your head in disbelief. 

What they said was SO clearly SO unreasonable. 

• How could they do that? 

• What were they thinking?

• Just what kind of [fill in the blank] are they?

In the course of less than 5 seconds we have jumped to a conclusion. And not just any conclusion, a conclusion backed by the conviction that this person is clearly trouble or toxic or both. 

We just have to tell someone… 

BUT

Intentions are invisible. 

Their story makes sense to them. 

And the story we just told ourselves is just that. A story. 

But if that story is wrong, we may be in the process of assassinating someone’s character. Pouring the concrete on a view of someone that could weigh us down in the coming months. Distorting our perspective and even our experience of the person. 

Enter the charitable assumption. It’s a term that Will Guidara uses in his excellent book, Unreasonable Hospitality. 

It’s about believing the best. 

It’s charitable, because rather than defaulting to the worst view, we give the benefit of the doubt. It’s also an assumption. A helpful one. We choose to believe something that’s generous until we have evidence to the contrary. Time will tell. But in the meantime, we’re charitable. 

I think that’s wise. I think that’s freeing. I think that moves you towards possibility. 

What do you think?