“Feelings, too, are facts.”
- Stu
- Jun 23
- 1 min read
If you could send an anonymous message to your colleague or counterparty, which of these quotes would you choose?
“Facts don’t care about your feelings.” – Ben Shapiro
“Feelings, too, are facts.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Your answer puts a finger on a dynamic that, if left unresolved, could sabotage your efforts.
(And no, don’t actually send the note …)
These quotes spotlight a tension at the heart of many negotiations and leadership conversations:
⏵ Ignore the facts, and you’ll make poor decisions.
⏵ Ignore the feelings, and you’ll miss what’s really driving the other person - and yourself.
Wise influencers pay attention to both. Both the reality of the situation AND the emotion surrounding it.
To help with this, before a conversation that matters, try asking yourself these questions
🌎 For your world:
What am I not seeing here?
How do I actually feel about this? What do those feelings tell me?
(pro tip: handle your emotions before the meeting or they’ll handle you in the meeting)
🌍 For their world:
What is the truth they don’t see? How might I help them see it?
What emotional history could be shaping their decisions?
(pro tip: baggage kills deals - handle it before it torpedos your efforts.)
Influence gets easier when you respect both realities: What’s happening out there, and what’s happening in here.
