Simply unbelievable!

What possessed them to go down that path?

How could they be so blind?

Our internal commentary runs automatically, to the tune of frustration, anger and disappointment. And if we let it keep running, it shapes our next move. A move born of angst, and not of insight.

In these moments, it pays to remember: their story makes sense to them.

It's become a mantra in my coaching work. Because to lead well - to influence well - we have to find a way to step into the other's world.

David Brooks puts it simply, "A person is a point of view."

It's a strategic nudge before our next high-stakes conversation to ask ourselves questions like:

▶ What do they see?

▶ How do they see the world?

▶ What is their story?

The answers won't magically lead to a breakthrough or resolution, but they will guide your approach in a way that is far more likely to get you there.

After all, our story makes sense to us too.